| A meeting between Dr. Watson and Mr. Sherlock | | | | their dirty work for them. No, we haven't named |
| Holmes, Esquire. | | | | our man yet. Let's keep digging through that list |
| Watson: (Gazing past his open newspaper, talking | | | | of yours, shall we? |
| to Holmes) Who is behind this 12-21-2012 End of | | | | Watson: Good heavens! All this thinking makes my |
| the World craze? And Why? Why have they | | | | head hurt. I wish this were simple? Blast it all! |
| begun hyping three years out? How did they get | | | | Very well. Our third one would be the Prophets |
| so well-orchestrated? It is obviously someone | | | | and Fortune Tellers. They come in all stripes and |
| with a lot of money and a grandiose agenda. | | | | colors, you know. There are Catholics, Muslims, |
| They are doing a masterful job of swaying the | | | | Hindus, and everything in between. There are |
| masses into fearing December 21, 2012. Now who | | | | men, and there are women. There never seems |
| do you suppose it could be? (pretend that we | | | | to be a lack of these self-proclaimed visionaries. |
| have some suspenseful music playing in the | | | | They each have a small spattering of a following. |
| background, almost ominous). We need your help | | | | Some have their own websites too. I say, |
| now more than ever, Mr. Holmes. | | | | Holmes. Aren't you even listening to me? (Holmes |
| Sherlock: (busy with some scientific experiment) | | | | had unconsciously been shaking his head |
| Let's go through the usual list of suspects, try to | | | | negatively and making a look of disgust). |
| think of all the possible motives, and see if we | | | | Sherlock: No, no, no. All wrong. |
| can't come up with a few possibilities. | | | | Watson: All wrong? What is all wrong? |
| Watson: Right-o! Let's start with the Bible-Believing | | | | Sherlock: The whole picture. Don't you see? All of |
| Christians. Usually it's the Bible bunch wanting to | | | | them agreeing! All having the same date. No. |
| see the Lord come back and unleash His righteous | | | | Totally out of character. Where is the individuality? |
| indignation upon the wicked. In years gone by well | | | | Where is the credit for the prediction? None can |
| meaning but misguided Christians have set dates | | | | take the credit! How completely unprofessional. No |
| for the second coming of Christ. Could it be them | | | | self-respecting fortune teller or prophet would |
| again? Maybe their zeal and excitement has got | | | | agree with another. It's counter productive. Bad |
| the best of them, due to the fact that they want | | | | for business. |
| the Lord to come. They have always been wrong | | | | Watson: You mean they all would disagree on |
| in the past, you know. Is it them? | | | | purpose because they otherwise would be less |
| Sherlock: My dear Watson, the glaring absence of | | | | than authentic? |
| any Bible-believing groups promoting 2012 | | | | Sherlock: Precisely, my good man. Well said. Well |
| removes them from our list completely. At this | | | | said. Shall we consult your list once more? |
| point, none of them are selling their homes and | | | | Watson: My dear friend, I only have one last |
| moving up in the hills, waiting for the Lord to | | | | suspect. To be honest, I put them at the bottom, |
| come. And honestly, if it was the Bible-believing | | | | for I didn't really suspect them at all, but some |
| Christians behind all this, everyone would laugh | | | | have suggested they be considered. |
| them to scorn. Think clearly now my good man: | | | | Sherlock: Quit balking and out with it then. Cat got |
| 1) They wouldn't have enough money to make it | | | | your tongue? |
| look so convincing. | | | | Watson: (ashamedly, quite timidly) The New Age |
| 2) They wouldn't be so organized and unified. (a | | | | Movement and the New World Order. |
| snicker escapes his lips) | | | | Sherlock: What's that you say?! (in whispered tone |
| 3) They wouldn't be given nearly as much | | | | now) Tell me. Why would anyone suspect them? |
| publicity. | | | | Watson: I saw it on the internet. Silly isn't it? |
| To be sure, we are still 3 years away, but if it | | | | Absurd. Preposterous. If you ask me, it couldn't |
| were the Christians behind all this, the media | | | | be them in a million years. Really! |
| would be mocking them incessantly. No, it isn't the | | | | Sherlock: (after long silence) Not so fast. Hmm. |
| Christians. | | | | You may be on to something there, old boy. Yes! |
| Watson: Quite so. Quite so. Dash it all. It is always | | | | That's it! You have just given us the men, the |
| so gratifying to blame the Bible-thumpers. | | | | means, and most importantly, the motive. |
| Confound it. Ah well, let's move on down our list, | | | | Watson: I say! Me? But how? Who? Explain |
| shall we. Number 2 Would be the Sensationalists. | | | | yourself won't you? |
| You know who I mean don't you Holmes? Those | | | | Sherlock: Delighted. (Holmes stands to his feet and |
| who profit off of any big event. Namely, the | | | | strides across the room deep in thought). |
| news media, such as newspapers, radio, television, | | | | 1) Some cataclysmic event occurs. |
| movie makers, etc. And then there are the | | | | 2) The New Age Movement and the New World |
| T-shirt manufacturers, website builders, basically all | | | | Order unite to usher in a new world leader |
| your "promotional" people. What do you think | | | | (otherwise known as the antichrist) |
| Holmes? Could these guys be the culprits? I say. | | | | 3) The governments of the world cede power to |
| Sherlock: Hmm (puffing on his curly pipe). You are | | | | him, for to refuse would mean annihilation. And |
| getting closer, but I don't think you've hit it yet. | | | | there you have it. All this Mayan poppycock is |
| (pause) No, these are not the people responsible. | | | | just a set-up for power-hungry ambitious tyrants |
| They are merely profiting from the big event. | | | | to steal our freedoms! |
| Like the guys selling watches and umbrellas, caps | | | | Watson: Good Havens, man! Are you sure? Not |
| and t-shirts at sports stadiums. To be sure, they | | | | our sovereignty!? |
| are profiting, but they lack a motive. (Holmes | | | | Sherlock: Quite sure. Thus, the tried and true |
| stares off into the distance). You see, my dear | | | | prophecies of the Bible are completely and |
| fellow, these are the pawns being used to hock | | | | exactly fulfilled, wherein none other than the |
| the "stuff" on the street. They are the "front". | | | | Antichrist himself is enthroned. You see, no one |
| Behind them, hiding somewhere, sinister, | | | | else has the manpower, the means, or the |
| methodically plotting some devious scheme is our | | | | motive to create such a crisis. |
| real perpetrator. | | | | Watson: Phenomenal! Amazing! But how did you |
| Watson: I say old man. Are you sure? | | | | figure it out Holmes! |
| Sherlock: Without a doubt, old chap. These criminal | | | | Sherlock: Elementary, my dear Watson. |
| types always get some unsuspecting dupe to do | | | | Elementary! |