| For centuries, when a loved one passed away, he | | | | |
| or she was kept in the home before burial. The | | | | |
| whole family was involved, in many cases, | | | | 4. Decorate the room and casket. |
| cleansing and dressing the body, being close to | | | | |
| the deceased, and, in many ways, coming to | | | | The entire family can be involved in decorating |
| terms with his or her passing. | | | | the room in which the remains are displayed with |
| | | | | colors, objects and symbols that were important |
| An at-home funeral (while keeping in line with local | | | | to the deceased. This can be anything from |
| laws) affords opportunities to involve the whole | | | | favorite plants, to family photos, the logos and |
| family in ways that a traditional funeral cannot. | | | | paraphernalia of favorite sports teams, pastimes, |
| | | | | hobbies, movies or career-related objects. |
| Here are six ways that the whole family can be | | | | Similarly, depending on the casket or container |
| involved during an at-home funeral: | | | | that you choose, you could decorate the casket |
| | | | | with paint, cut-outs or by writing messages. |
| | | | | |
| 1. Keeping Vigil. | | | | |
| | | | | |
| In modern usage, the terms wake, visitation and | | | | 5. Watch a favorite film or slideshow. |
| vigil are used almost interchangeably. However, | | | | |
| originally, the term “vigil” was used to | | | | While at first, this may sound disrespectful when |
| refer to the time when the deceased was kept in | | | | viewed through the eyes of the traditional funeral, |
| the home members of the family took turns | | | | it’s actually a fitting and personal tribute to a |
| sitting with their loved one who had passed. An | | | | departed loved one. Father the family around to |
| at-home funeral once again provides this very | | | | watch home movies or a slideshow of family |
| special and personal time. Designated family | | | | photos. Or, even, sit everyone down to watch a |
| members can take turns— either individually or | | | | film or television program that the deceased |
| in pairs—to sit with the remains in shifts. This | | | | enjoyed. Tell stories about which parts he or she |
| allows individual family members to offer a | | | | loved. Reminisce about the first time the |
| prayer, a good-bye, their thoughts and feelings | | | | deceased saw the film or events when the film |
| and to be able to not only fully accept the death, | | | | was a part of a family event. |
| but to find closure with the life of the deceased. | | | | |
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| | | | | 6. Have every member of the family create |
| 2. Favorite meals. | | | | something special. Using recyclable materials have |
| | | | | each member of the family write or draw |
| So much of all cultures centers on food. Everyone | | | | something that expresses their feelings about the |
| has a favorite food or meal. Engaging the whole | | | | deceased or symbolizes something special about |
| family in the preparation and consumption of that | | | | the deceased. Display these messages near the |
| meal while the deceased is in the house is a way | | | | casket or around the room. Make sure to have |
| to not only reminisce about him or her and | | | | each person read their thoughts or interpret their |
| remember other meals spent together, but also a | | | | drawing. Use this, again, as an opportunity not only |
| way to include the deceased symbolically in one | | | | to celebrate, but, also to grow as a family. |
| final meal as a family. This is something that could | | | | |
| most assuredly be done at most funeral homes. | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | Should you be considering an at-home funeral, you |
| | | | | should be aware that most states in the U.S. |
| 3. Make it a celebration. By the very nature of | | | | clearly allow families to care for their own dead as |
| being within the home, there’s an ease and | | | | long as state law is followed. Several states are |
| comfort to an at-home funeral that is lacking in | | | | unclear on their statutes and regulations. Colorado, |
| one held in an impersonal funeral home. This | | | | Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, |
| comfort level and, in some cases, lack of | | | | Massachusetts, Michigan, Nebraska, New |
| formality, allows family of all ages a freedom to | | | | Hampshire, New Jersey and New York tend to be |
| not only mourn, but to celebrate the life of the | | | | vague in their guidelines. |
| deceased. Have older children and teens begin by | | | | |
| saying what they most appreciated about the | | | | |
| deceased. Involve adult children, the spouse and | | | | |
| friends in telling stories about happy times spent | | | | Regardless of which state in which you live, make |
| together. | | | | sure to contact a funeral home or state agency |
| | | | | for more information on the exact laws. |