| As we mentioned in our previous article on | | | | reaction that is seen with dominoes is a good |
| happiness, everybody wants to be happy. The | | | | way to understand your life. Imagine a set of 5 |
| pursuit of happiness is a right guaranteed in the | | | | dominoes where each one represents an |
| constitution. But most people don't realize that | | | | important aspect of control. The diagram to the |
| there are two kinds of happiness: Happiness (with | | | | left shows what this might look like. |
| a capital H) and happiness (with a small h). | | | | The first domino represents everything outside of |
| Happiness (big H) is something that runs very | | | | you that triggers off the second domino. This |
| deep and is quite profound and long lasting; much | | | | could include weather, people, health, work and |
| more than its cousin, happiness (little h). Real | | | | any other event that you encounter in your life. |
| Happiness goes by many names: tranquility, inner | | | | The second domino stands for your thought life. |
| peace, serenity. Many other words also come to | | | | Feelings (emotions and sensations) are the third |
| mind: calm, placidity, quiet, stillness, composure, | | | | domino and the fourth is your behavior domino. |
| poise, equanimity, repose, harmony, and | | | | The last domino stands for any consequences |
| peacefulness. | | | | that happen in the outside world as the result of |
| Unfortunately, people keep fooling themselves into | | | | your behavior. You need to know that these |
| thinking that happiness is merely feeling good. Not | | | | dominoes never change position. |
| that feeling good is wrong or bad. It just don't | | | | The Big H type happiness occurs when all the |
| happen to be the same thing as the big H. Little h | | | | dominoes are standing. This is difficult because the |
| happiness occurs when we can get rid of pain and | | | | first domino, life, has a tendency to keep falling on |
| suffering. Big H happiness is not the absence of | | | | you (did you notice the round bottom?). So many |
| conflict or pain, but rather the ability to cope with | | | | things can go wrong in life. Yet, we try to keep |
| both. | | | | the dominoes standing by attempting to control |
| B-E-S-T | | | | the first domino. This is not possible because you |
| Happiness is not a goal in life but is rather a | | | | have no control over life events. |
| by-product of something else. That something | | | | No matter how hard you try to keep the life |
| else is self control. Perhaps a good way to | | | | domino from falling, it will eventually fall. Every |
| understand self control is in the sense of self | | | | time you set the first domino up it falls again. |
| management. Rather than let your life run you, | | | | Then all the other dominoes fall. The trick is to |
| you need to learn the skills to manage (control) | | | | spend less time trying to straighten out life. |
| your life so that you can experience it the way | | | | You can have the Big H when you have learned |
| you want it. By controlling four specific | | | | to make the second domino immovable. You |
| components of your life, you can find your | | | | want to learn how to mentally superglue the |
| pathway to Happiness. These four parts are what | | | | second domino to the tabletop. When you can do |
| comprise human nature. The more you can | | | | this by changing your thought life, then you will |
| control each of these elements, the closer you | | | | have Happiness because the rest of the dominoes |
| are to the big H. | | | | will remain standing. |
| This is different from New Age beliefs that | | | | In addition to managing your thought life, you also |
| promise you the ability to "feel good" no matter | | | | want to learn how to manage your emotions, |
| what is happening to you. Happiness (with the big | | | | sensations and behavior. In The Worry Free Life, |
| "H") doesn't rule out suffering, pain and emotional | | | | we show you, step by step how to learn these |
| distress. What it does give you is the ability to | | | | new skills and apply them to your life. |
| cope during such times. It gives you the self | | | | Cognitive therapy has been one of the most |
| confidence that no matter what happens, you will | | | | exciting developments in mental health in this |
| eventually make it through and be a stronger | | | | century. By discovering that emotions are |
| person for it. | | | | produced by thinking, psychologists have given |
| These four keys to Happiness are not | | | | the human race a means of finally doing |
| independent of one another. They constantly | | | | something about such crippling infirmities as |
| interact with and affect each other. The chain | | | | depression and guilt. |