| Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber | | | | going to do it right? Who do you think you are |
| nor sleep. Psalm 121:4 | | | | that anyone would want to read what you write? |
| The other day I heard a preacher say "God | | | | You're already 50, what have you accomplished in |
| works the night shift!" and I thought how true | | | | this life? These thoughts are hard to silence and |
| that is! | | | | they bring a lot of shame. I've learned that I have |
| I have not had a full night's sleep in many months. | | | | to take control over them immediately or else I |
| It has been frustrating to say the least. I go to | | | | will slip quickly into a pit of despair. Again, to stop |
| sleep right away, but every night, somewhere | | | | them I speak out loud, "Devil, in the name of |
| between 1am and 3 am, I wake up. I am awake | | | | Jesus, I command you to leave me alone. My Dad |
| for at least one hour, though it is usually for two | | | | loves me and thinks I'm swell, even if I am not |
| to three hours; finally, sleep comes again about | | | | perfect. If you have a problem with me, go talk |
| 5am, just about when it's time to get up! | | | | to Him about it!" I start thinking on the scriptures |
| The thoughts that whirl though my mind in the | | | | that speak of giving our cares to the Lord and |
| wee hours run the gamut from my kids to | | | | about how faithful He is to us. Praying in the Spirit |
| finances to the upcoming election to the eternal. | | | | usually takes me back to sleep. |
| Sometimes there are some very panicky | | | | Some nights I know God has tapped me on the |
| thoughts: Where is the money we need going to | | | | shoulder just to talk to me! Those are the nights I |
| come from? What will happen to this country if | | | | ask Him, "OK Lord, who do you want me to pray |
| the liberals win? Will my husband's mother ever | | | | for now?" Usually, one specific person will come to |
| get better? Are my kids going to be OK? When | | | | mind and I will pray over that person; sometimes |
| will I be able to close the big sale? How can we | | | | many people will be brought to my memory and I |
| help all the people who come to us in need? I | | | | pray for them all. Again, because I don't always |
| have found the only way to stop these | | | | know what to pray, I pray in the Spirit. |
| anxiety-ridden thoughts is to speak out loud and | | | | I keep a notebook, pen and flashlight on my |
| command them to stop. Seriously. I say aloud, | | | | nightstand so I can write down things that come |
| "Devil, it may be true that I don't have the | | | | to me during these quiet hours. Many times God |
| answers right now, but God does. Stop bothering | | | | will give me the title for an article, or the solution |
| me about it now, go talk to Him!" Then I pray. I | | | | to a problem I am having, or someone He wants |
| mostly pray in the Spirit because I don't always | | | | me to talk to, or even a new recipe I can create! |
| know how to pray, or for whom. I also make the | | | | I have found that writing these things down lets |
| choice to think on all the troubles and situations | | | | me put them out of my mind for the time being, |
| God has brought me through before, and that | | | | and brings clarity in the morning. It is easy to |
| helps me to know He is there helping me through | | | | forget if I don't memorialize them. |
| the current batch! | | | | The best part of not sleeping? It reminds me that |
| Other times, there are some yucky thoughts | | | | God does not sleep! He is always on call, always |
| spinning in my head: Why do you procrastinate so | | | | at the ready, to commune with us. Lately, I must |
| much? When are you ever going to lose weight, | | | | say, I have been asking Him, "But, do we have to |
| fatso? How can God love you when you screw | | | | do it at 3 am?" Yet, I know this season will pass. |
| up all the time? You always blow it, when are you | | | | But while it is here, I am grateful that He cares. |