Men's Retreats – If They're Done Right, They're Powerful

There's a stereotype about men that, if true, is2. If you have men speaking or facilitating at your
only partly true.  In a recent children's film, themen's retreat, make sure they are men that
main male character tells his wife, "For guys, ahave sincerely journeyed in their message and
punch in the shoulder is like six months ofnot just studied a book.
therapy."  In other words, men don't know how,When a church or other group chooses some
nor do they really need, to talk honestly andpopular book, tells a team of men to read it and
openly with each other.  A "hey buddy," with athen assigns a chapter to each, there is little
brotherly jab in the shoulder is about as close asstrength and power to the message.  It ends up
we will ever get to connecting with another manbeing a "staged" or "scripted" program, and there
and trying to be his ally.will be little that is authentic.  If you let men hear
Well, sadly, the stereotype can be true at times,from other men who are genuine, tell the truth
but it's not because men don't have the ability orabout their lives, and let the power of their lives
the need to speak honestly about their lives, orspeak for them, then you may very well help
their challenges, or their problems.  It's that manyother men do the same.
men have simply never had this modeled orAsk men and most will tell you they want to be
taught.  And, when a person lacks the vision orin the company of a man who has become
the knowhow for something, it's easier to fakesomeone rather than one who simply knows
their way through things so they can avoid whatsomething.  Who you are is way more powerful
feels awkward or foreign.  But, a well plannedthan what you know.  
and well executed men's retreat can provide a3. Don't plan guided or structured activities for
forum and environment for men to unplug fromevery hour of the retreat, and honor a man's
the demands of life and experience a level ofprivacy.
honesty with themselves, with other men, andThey way many men's retreats are planned and
even with God.  structured, it seems like the leadership doesn't
Several things need to be considered and thenbelieve a man can go out and experience much
put in place at a men's retreat, but if retreatthat is deep or spiritual on his own.  
leaders take the following three suggestions toSadly, men go from large sessions where
heart, they will be off to a great start in creatingspeakers teach to assigned discussion groups that
a men's retreat experience that will fosterare also led in some way to recreation times,
positive change in the lives of men.meal times, and so forth, with little, if any
1. Find a location for your men's retreat that hasunstructured time to be alone and decide what
as much wilderness and natural beauty as possible.they need on their own.  Retreats can almost
Not everyone lives near the mountains or thefeel like elementary schools where the participants
sea, but every part of the country is near natural,are watched and led all day long.
rugged, unspoiled places.  And having a men'sTrust a man to be out on his own for an hour, or
retreat in the conference room or basement offor a number of hours, without his blackberry,
your local church doesn't do much to open alaptop, cell phone, and you may be amazed at
man's soul.  what can happen.  So, be intentional to plan for
You don't have to have men rappelling off a clifflong periods of time when men do not need to be
or rafting through whitewater to help them getled, taught, assigned to a discussion group, or
out of the ordinary and be open to thecounseled.  They just get to be alone and do
unexpected, but giving them wide open fields,what they feel is the best thing to do.  Good
wooded trails, or lakeshores to explore just doesthings will happen.
something to a man… and it's good.