The Relationship Tripod

"body">deal-breakers" and have no room for negotiation,
Your Life has one constant dynamic: Relationships.lest you sell yourself out and come up empty.
This is actually a threefold dynamic that includesThere are what also feed your Soul, hence the
your intrapersonal relationship with yourself; theabsence of them leave you feeling empty and
interpersonal relationships with your friends, family,dissatisfied.
and/or romantic partner; and the spiritualBoundaries - These are your personal "property
relationship with your Higher Power. Therefore,lines". This is where another person's space ends
improving your "relational intelligence" makesand yours begins. When you know your
perfect sense.requirements and what is not acceptable and
This is "The Relationship Tripod" with each of thewhat you have to have, it is easier to define your
three tripod legs being represented by yourboundaries. Allowing others into this space when
relationship with yourself, your relationship withyou don't want them there creates imbalance and
others, and your relationship with your Higheroften manifests itself as fatigue and/or emotional
Power. The tripod works best at stabilizingoverwhelm. Setting boundaries is often just the
whatever is on it (your Life, in this case) when allbeginning; maintaining them is the true challenge as
three legs are firm and solid. If one or more ofothers will often test you for your consistency.
the legs are weak, there is an excessive burdenCommunication - Being able to speak directly,
put on the remaining leg(s) and a loss of stability.clearly, and assertively is only the beginning of
The goal is to balance and strengthen these threecreating healthy communication. Listening is
areas of your Life so you can withstand theactually the most powerful dynamic of
challenges of Life in a conscious and proactivecommunicating. Being able to have non-reactive
fashion. I invite you to deepen your relationalresponses through mirroring and empathizing
intelligence and expand your relationalcreates the most powerful position as well as
awareness...all to create more powerfulmaintaining much more of your energy. Think of
relationships in your life, and to have the mostyourself as being a bull-fighter and your job is to
powerful and fulfilling Life that you possibly can.invite the dialogue your way, but to not get "hit"
Relationship With Yourselfby it. In being a powerful listener, you actually
Purpose - Are you living your Life on purpose, orhave more control by trying to control less...yes,
just accidentally? Many people struggle withless is more in this case.
knowing their true purpose, and therefore settleRelationship With Your Higher Power
for whatever comes into their lives. What is itCommuning - When and where do you feel the
that really turns you on? What do you feel themost connected and the most alive? Whether it is
most passionate about? Take some time toat the beach, in the mountains, while you are
explore this.dancing or singing, at church, in prayer or in a
Balance - Having a gauge to evaluate your balancemeditative trance; these are the times, places and
is helpful in reinforcing your purpose, and inactivities in which you are having a Higher
maintaining your health and well-being. Think ofExperience. When you allow yourself to be at
your purpose as the hub of a wheel, and all thethese places and in these spaces, you allow
various areas of your Life rotate around it. Thisyourself to have spiritual connection that is fulfilling
would include areas such as social, spiritual, family,and that also automatically adds balance to your
recreational, creativity, work/vocation, financial,Life. Giving yourself regular doses of spiritual
physical, personal growth/emotional and physicalactivity, or better yet, going on a spiritual retreat
environments. What needs to take place in eachwill do wonders for your spiritual relationship.
area for you to sustain the highest level ofJournaling - Writing to affirm yourself, to do
balance?healing work, or to do growth work, can all be
Vision - Purpose and balance without vision is likemethods to enhance your spiritual connection.
having all your possessions packed up and beingWrite a letter to yourself to remind you of all
ready to move, but having no idea where youyour greatness, your talents, and your gifts. This
are going to. So, what does your future look like?can be a wonderful way to assist in fulfilling your
Visualize what you want it to look like. Go back toHighest potential...your God-given Greatness. Write
your Whole Life Wheel, and include each area into let go of old wounds, or a letter of forgiveness
your visualization. Spend some time with thisto let go of old resentment. Both of these will set
every day, as the more you visualize what youyou free to be more in the present. The more
want, the more clear it will become. Try to let goyou are in the present, and fully conscious, the
of the "inner critic", that part that always tries tomore available you are to receive spiritual
shoot down new ideas. Allow yourself to go wayconnection.
out of your comfort zone with this. AnotherReading - There are thousands of books on
helpful activity is to create a Vision Map.spiritual practice, with more coming out every
The point of these exercises help to create aday. If you are unsure of your spiritual path, do
"metaphysical vacuum" that will pull you towardssome reading and pay attention to what
all that you desire, while pulling all that you desireresonates with your Soul...those are likely to be
towards you. This is the Law of Attraction inthe pieces you have been looking for. If you
action. Remember, Life is a journey, and likeknow your spiritual path, stretch yourself and do
Columbus, sometimes you may end up not wheresome reading beyond where you are. If you've
you expected, but rather, where you need to be.already read them all, then maybe it's time to
The big challenge is to let go of outcomes, aspass on some of your knowledge and
these may change, and focus on keeping yourselfwisdom....start writing that book (and/or article)
on the journey.you've been thinking about!!
Relationships With Others~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The "AbSOULutes" - These are the relationshipSo here's the challenge: Make all your relationships
dynamics and personal characteristics of othersREALationships, meaning relationships that are
that you have to have in order to feel satisfied.packed full of REALness. Live a Life of
Without these, the relationship cannot exist.REALationships. Whether it is with others,
Trying make a relationship fulfilling without theseyourself, or your Higher Power, allow yourself to
requirements is like trying to make an apple piebe whole, balanced and on your path to your
without apples....try and try as you may, but it willHighest Good.
never work. These are the "Deal-makers and