| Have you ever felt like you were taught to hide | | | | perhaps he had found my name on some yoga |
| or attack your problems instead of looking to | | | | list. Finally, I asked who he was and why he was |
| your highest self for direction? We spend too | | | | calling. He said he was a TMer. At the time, I had |
| much time on the small details of daily life and not | | | | no idea what a TMer was. He explained that TM |
| enough time looking at our future vision and inner | | | | stands for Transcendental Meditation. |
| viewpoint. The truth is I spent much of my late | | | | It's not a religion or philosophy and it can be |
| teens and early adulthood in a state of restless | | | | practiced by anyone looking to experience more |
| anxiety. It seemed as if I was always chasing | | | | mental clarity or reduce stress. I understood it as |
| something, trying to get something or being | | | | a form of meditation, but nothing more. He told |
| someone else or somewhere else. Eventually, I did | | | | me that during meditation he saw my number |
| get what I desired, whatever it was that I was | | | | and had a strong sense that I needed to know |
| chasing. Family members would point out I was | | | | that the universe was in support of my new |
| lucky, or that I could turn any bag of thorns into | | | | direction. |
| a bouquet of roses. Yet, I still wasn't happy. Yes, | | | | The next week I spent a week practicing yoga at |
| there were moments of exhilaration when I knew | | | | a spiritual retreat center. After each day of |
| I was going to get what I had been working for, | | | | practice we wrote about our experiences. After a |
| but there was little true happiness. | | | | few hours of intense yoga we would journal |
| In 1997, I began to practice yoga regularly at a | | | | about a given topic or our "after-yoga" thoughts. |
| local gym. I started attending class during work | | | | My journal entries included random statements |
| lunch breaks. Hah, I had used yoga mostly as a | | | | such as... "We die in the comfort zone. Step out |
| way to take longer lunch breaks and escape the | | | | of your comfort zone. There is peace with truth. |
| daily grind. For me, the hardest part of yoga was | | | | There is no peace with self-doubt. Life is full of |
| final rest. Now, I know that it was difficult | | | | options. We must have the courage to face the |
| because on some level, I feared knowing myself | | | | truth." I remember crying because at the time I |
| on a deeper level. I didn't really like myself. I was | | | | wasn't following my true path and I felt miserable |
| afraid of my other self? Who was this other self? | | | | because of it. |
| I am just one person. Aren't I? | | | | The Monday after the retreat, I wandered back |
| I realized yoga had become an escape from my | | | | into my corporate office refreshed and relaxed. |
| dual self. Or should I say my dueling self? Yoga | | | | Then I thought, "What am I doing here? Is this |
| was escape from this "other" voice, this negative | | | | just a pay check for me?" I knew a job like mine |
| self-defeating voice in my head. Hah, while other | | | | was a dream job for others, but why couldn't I |
| people choose the use of drugs or alcohol, not | | | | just be thankful for what I had? I made it through |
| me, I chose yoga as my drug of choice. | | | | the day and cried to my husband about my |
| Thankfully, it has awakened me to a life of | | | | miserable job that night. He had some inspiring |
| inspiration, consciousness, and flow. | | | | wisdom. |
| By 2005, I chose to end my corporate career. By | | | | He asked, "How will your life change if you leave |
| the time I left, I was miserable yet still felt | | | | this job? |
| trapped by a high paying salary and absolutely | | | | My job will support our current living behaviors |
| zero respect whatsoever. I was tortured with | | | | until you get up to speed with your own business. |
| thoughts, "How could I possibly leave such a high | | | | You will still have your computer, cable T.V. and |
| paying job? I can't make this kind of money doing | | | | your car. Your life won't change. I want you to be |
| anything else." | | | | happy." It seemed so simple to him, but to me it |
| Who was I to tell myself this? | | | | was huge. |
| I told myself, "I can't." No one who loved me | | | | By the end of the day on Tuesday, my hard |
| would tell me such nonsense, whether they | | | | drive crashed -- not the hard drive of my brain, |
| thought it or not. Where did I get such ideas? | | | | but my computer's hard drive. I would joke to |
| Maybe I didn't love myself. At a minimum, I was | | | | co-workers, "Do you think God is telling me |
| verbally abusive to myself. Who had I become? I, | | | | something?" Many would just giggle, but one man |
| of course, didn't realize this until much later. | | | | said very seriously, "Yes! You have all this talent |
| And then magic started to happen. | | | | waiting to be let out. What are you doing here? |
| One Saturday in March of 2005, I received a | | | | What are you waiting for?" These words stuck |
| phone call from a man in Arizona. At the time we | | | | with me. What was I waiting for? |
| didn't have a cable phone or caller ID or who | | | | Why was I holding on to a job that I disliked? |
| knows if I would have even answered the line. My | | | | Why was I torturing myself? |
| number was not available. The man asked if there | | | | This is my life! |
| was a person who practiced transcendental | | | | Like all life journeys you must start by opening |
| meditation in our home. | | | | your eyes to God's awareness. Patanjali wrote, |
| I said, "No, but I am very spiritual and I practice | | | | "When you are inspired by some great purpose, |
| and teach yoga." He then, asked if it was Kundalini | | | | some extraordinary project, all your thoughts |
| yoga and again I said, "No. I practice Vinyasa and | | | | break their bonds; your mind transcends |
| Astanga yoga." I was starting to get a little | | | | limitations, your consciousness expands in every |
| defensive and agitated with his questions. Who | | | | direction, and you find yourself in a new, great |
| was this guy and was he questioning me? | | | | and wonderful world." |
| I began thinking that it was some kind of joke or | | | | Live it now, follow the simple way. |