| A Christian has a Bible as a guidebook to
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| | go find a church(es) that
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| his love life. Nonchristians
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| | can accommodate your beliefs and there
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| are not expected to be following it, so
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| | meet the ones to pursue. If
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| you'll have to make with them
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| | you need more action, then meet someone
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| whatever arrangements work for you.
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| | at a dance where the weaker
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| Expect them, however, to respect
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| | brethren are not to go out of their way
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| your limit to hold off on having sex
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| | to judge you.
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| with you until marriage.
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|
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| | Dating proper was invented in the book
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| The King
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| | of Esther where a king met
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| James Version of 1611 was made when
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| | a wide range of available maidens, the
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| marriage was more biblical,
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| | ones he particularly liked,
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| although by the same token more old
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| | he called up for dates (ch. 2:14b), and
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| fashioned. Our new and improved
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| | the one he loved most
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| English versions were made by
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| | (Esther), he made queen. Esther herself
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| translators of our own times and so
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| | used this invention to negotiate
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| perhaps
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| | with the king to get her request, she
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| less biblical. You can't have your cake
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| | made a lunch date with him.
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| and eat it too. I use the KJV.
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| | We see here the purpose of
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| | prearrangement which enabled God to
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| Starting in Genesis, Adam was interested
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| | advise
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| in the woman God had made
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| | the king in a dream going along with the
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| for him; he saw where she came from and
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| | first commandment to love
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| what she was for. Therefore
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| | God first of all. We see a couple as
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| a man should leave father and mother to
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| | opposed to a group, shown by
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| cleave to his woman, and the
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| | Haman trying to bond one-on-one with
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| twain shall become one flesh. The
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| | Esther at the banquet, going
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| leaving and cleaving is what we
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| | along with the second commandment to
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| call going out, spending some time
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| | love one's neighbor as oneself.
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| together as a couple. Becoming
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| | The physical bonding--touching,
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| one flesh is biblical terminology for
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| | holding--allows the sexes to bond
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| marriage, what happens there.
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| | with each other
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| As Christians we're obligated by Romans
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| | In Ruth the indirect negotiation for her
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| 14 to avoid "doubtful
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| | hand in marriage was
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| disputations" but get along with other
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| | made at a specific place set up for
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| Christians who behave differently.
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| | major transactions: at the city
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| If, say, we have a stronger faith that
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| | gate in the presence of the elders. In
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| allows us to do things which
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| | our society such a place set
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| a weaker brother's conscience would not
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| | up for these necessary negotiations is
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| permit, we are to happily have
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| | a,
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| our own faith quietly to ourselves, not
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| | elders + gate = date.
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| putting a stumbling block in
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| the weaker brother's way. The weaker
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| | This follows from the lesson of First
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| brother on his part is not to go
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| | Corinthians 7. While a Christian's
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| out of his way to find something to
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| | marriage to an unbeliever is contingent
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| judge the stronger brother for.
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| | on the unbeliever's willingness
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|
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| | to stay in it, a Christian's marriage to
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| First Corinthians 7 instructs that
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| | another Christian is to be
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| single brothers and sisters be
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| | binding unto death. In order to prove
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| permitted to marry. There is necessarily
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| | our own and the other's ability
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| a courtship stage before
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| | to commit, we need a device that allows
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| marriage, so it's expected there will be
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| | us to enter, modify and exit
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| various courtship customs
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| | commitments. The date serves this
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| develop. Suppose Christians of various
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| | purpose. One enters commitments
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| levels of faith accept fewer
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| | on a date, and modifies or withdraws
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| or more of these customs depending on
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| | from them on other dates. That
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| their faith. Furthermore, suppose
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| | gives us liberty and a proving ground.
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| that it doesn't divide out even between
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| | If there were no place
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| the sexes; say that some men will
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| | for this to be done--a date--, then how
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| take the high end and some women the
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| | can one tell when he or the
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| low. Won't we have to either violate
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| | other is ending a commitment or just
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| Romans 14 by forcing a weaker sister to
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| | violating it?
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| violate her conscience or a
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| stronger brother to cancel his liberty,
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| | In (Prov. 18:24) "A man that hath
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| or else prevent the possibility
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| | friends must show himself friendly:
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| of marriage altogether as their
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| | and there is a friend that sticketh
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| practices are incompatible with each
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| | closer than a brother." There
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| other?
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| | is such a thing as a girlfriend, a
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|
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| | non-platonic friend. As friendship
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| In the Benjamite War at the end of
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| | requires effort, one's friends end up in
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| Judges, the tribes had a doubtful
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| | a pyramid scheme, the best
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| disputation where the majority sinned
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| | ones in the narrow group at top. If you
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| "because we reserved not to
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| | try to date only your best
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| each man his wife in the war" (Judges
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| | friends, you risk ruining the valuable
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| 21:22). They had made rules
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| | friendship without increasing
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| whereby the men of Benjamin could not
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| | your dating pool very much. If you
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| obtain wives. Their answer was,
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| | follow the scheme of Esther, you'll
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| first, there were some villages that
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| | be dating from the larger pool of
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| didn't participate in the conflict;
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| | acquaintances.
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| they could at least be flexible enough
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| to accommodate the men. Second,
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| | In the Song of Solomon we see a mother's
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| what wives were still needed, the men
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| | influence on her daughter on
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| could pick up at dances where
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| | dates, and that she is not despised for
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| their liberty would be respected.
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| | kissing her beau.
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| Applied to a modern church age, if you
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| | These are the lessons from the Old
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| find yourself at odds with
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| | Testament. The New Testament is
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| a church over courtship practices, then
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| | a bit easier to follow and apply.
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