| The Engagement | | | | necessities aid and comfort thee," promises the |
| After a considerable time of courtship an | | | | prospective bridegroom, "which things and all that |
| engagement is established. An engagement is a | | | | a man ought to do unto his espoused I promise |
| mutual promise to enter into marriage in the near | | | | to do unto thee and to keep by the faith that is |
| future. The young man frequently gives the girl an | | | | in me." |
| engagement ring which she wears on the third | | | | A similar pledge is recited by the young woman. |
| finger of her left hand. There are two types of | | | | After the priest has blessed the engagement ring, |
| engagements: informal and formal. | | | | the man places it on his fiancee's ringer, invoking |
| Informal | | | | the blessing of the Father, and of the Son, and of |
| While engaged couples may kiss each other on | | | | the Holy Spirit. The priest opens the Missal to the |
| meeting and parting in a decent and chaste way, | | | | beginning of the Canon, and presents the page |
| in a way that would not be considered shameful | | | | imprinted with the crucifix, which is kissed first by |
| and improper in the presence of others, it is | | | | the man, and then by the woman. |
| obvious that there are some kinds of kissing and | | | | The ceremony ends as the couple sign a |
| embracing that by their very nature lead to | | | | document asserting that they "have this day |
| intense sexual desires and feelings. Such would be | | | | promised the eventual consecration of one |
| close, prolonged, passionate kissing and embracing. | | | | another in the sacrament of Matrimony." The |
| Without a doubt there will be severe temptations | | | | priest and witnesses also sign the paper. |
| to indulge in these things for a couple who are | | | | Motivation for the ceremony may be discovered |
| deeply in love and looking forward to marriage. | | | | in the prayer of the young people themselves, |
| But if they truly want their marriage to be good | | | | which is included in the document recording their |
| and holy and blessed in the eyes of God, they will | | | | solemn engagement. It reads; |
| resist the temptation to cheat by taking in | | | | May the Divine Spirit with His grace and manifold |
| advance that which God can make lawful and | | | | gifts enlighten our minds and move our wills to |
| virtuous for them only after they will have | | | | spend the days of our engagement soberly, |
| married. Moreover the virtue of prudence will | | | | piously, and justly, awaiting the blessed |
| suggest that they do not spend too much time | | | | consummation of that union to which we have |
| alone and in secret together, when the very | | | | been called and to which we are solemnly pledged. |
| circumstances would make more acute the | | | | In Thee, O Lord, do we put our trust. Let us |
| yearning for passionate and sinful love-making. | | | | nevermore be confounded. |
| They must deeply convince themselves that the | | | | It should be noted here that no engagement, not |
| right to such things is given by God only to the | | | | even a formal one, can compel a marriage if one |
| married. | | | | of the parties decides not to marry. Engagement |
| Formal | | | | leads to marriage, but it is considerably removed |
| On the increase in this country is the formal | | | | from marriage because it does not bind with the |
| engagement, better known as the "solemn | | | | same force as does marriage itself. |
| engagement." This is the only kind of an | | | | Because engagements are not marriages, it must |
| engagement officially recognized by the Church | | | | be constantly noted that any display or |
| (Canon 1017). The ritual for the ceremony of | | | | manifestation of love between the engaged that |
| solemn engagement is simple but meaningful, | | | | involves the arousing of sensual desire or feeling |
| foreshadowing the day when the couple will be | | | | and the danger of consenting thereto is as wrong |
| united sacramentally in Christ. | | | | and sinful in the engaged as for the un-engaged. |
| While there is no standard formula for the | | | | In other words, there are no sexual privileges for |
| ceremony itself, in most instances the ceremony | | | | the engaged. |
| is conducted in the following manner either in | | | | The informal engagement can occur almost |
| conjunction with a Mass or as a candlelight | | | | anywhere. This is the one that has been described |
| ceremony in the evening. | | | | in romance literature time and time again. The |
| Kneeling at the Communion rail, the couple join | | | | young man proposes to the girl in the moonlight |
| their right hands, and, before the priest and | | | | and she says "Yes." He then places the ring on |
| witnesses, promise to marry one day "according | | | | her finger and they are engaged. They then |
| to the ordinances of God and Holy Church." | | | | proceed to announce the fact to their relatives |
| "I will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thy | | | | and friends. |