| The Engagement | | | | "I will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and |
| | | | so in thy necessities aid and comfort thee," |
| After a considerable time of courtship an | | | | promises the prospective bridegroom, "which |
| engagement is established. An engagement is a | | | | things and all that a man ought to do unto |
| mutual promise to enter into marriage in the | | | | his espoused I promise to do unto thee and to |
| near future. The young man frequently gives | | | | keep by the faith that is in me." |
| the girl an engagement ring which she wears | | | | |
| on the third finger of her left hand. There | | | | A similar pledge is recited by the young |
| are two types of engagements: informal and | | | | woman. |
| formal. | | | | |
| | | | After the priest has blessed the engagement |
| Informal | | | | ring, the man places it on his fiancee's |
| | | | ringer, invoking the blessing of the Father, |
| While engaged couples may kiss each other on | | | | and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. The |
| meeting and parting in a decent and chaste | | | | priest opens the Missal to the beginning of |
| way, in a way that would not be considered | | | | the Canon, and presents the page imprinted |
| shameful and improper in the presence of | | | | with the crucifix, which is kissed first by |
| others, it is obvious that there are some | | | | the man, and then by the woman. |
| kinds of kissing and embracing that by their | | | | |
| very nature lead to intense sexual desires | | | | The ceremony ends as the couple sign a |
| and feelings. Such would be close, prolonged, | | | | document asserting that they "have this day |
| passionate kissing and embracing. | | | | promised the eventual consecration of one |
| | | | another in the sacrament of Matrimony." The |
| Without a doubt there will be severe | | | | priest and witnesses also sign the paper. |
| temptations to indulge in these things for a | | | | |
| couple who are deeply in love and looking | | | | Motivation for the ceremony may be discovered |
| forward to marriage. But if they truly want | | | | in the prayer of the young people themselves, |
| their marriage to be good and holy and | | | | which is included in the document recording |
| blessed in the eyes of God, they will resist | | | | their solemn engagement. It reads; |
| the temptation to cheat by taking in advance | | | | |
| that which God can make lawful and virtuous | | | | May the Divine Spirit with His grace and |
| for them only after they will have married. | | | | manifold gifts enlighten our minds and move |
| Moreover the virtue of prudence will suggest | | | | our wills to spend the days of our engagement |
| that they do not spend too much time alone | | | | soberly, piously, and justly, awaiting the |
| and in secret together, when the very | | | | blessed consummation of that union to which |
| circumstances would make more acute the | | | | we have been called and to which we are |
| yearning for passionate and sinful | | | | solemnly pledged. In Thee, O Lord, do we put |
| love-making. They must deeply convince | | | | our trust. Let us nevermore be confounded. |
| themselves that the right to such things is | | | | |
| given by God only to the married. | | | | It should be noted here that no engagement, |
| | | | not even a formal one, can compel a marriage |
| Formal | | | | if one of the parties decides not to marry. |
| | | | Engagement leads to marriage, but it is |
| On the increase in this country is the formal | | | | considerably removed from marriage because it |
| engagement, better known as the "solemn | | | | does not bind with the same force as does |
| engagement." This is the only kind of an | | | | marriage itself. |
| engagement officially recognized by the | | | | |
| Church (Canon 1017). The ritual for the | | | | Because engagements are not marriages, it |
| ceremony of solemn engagement is simple but | | | | must be constantly noted that any display or |
| meaningful, foreshadowing the day when the | | | | manifestation of love between the engaged |
| couple will be united sacramentally in | | | | that involves the arousing of sensual desire |
| Christ. | | | | or feeling and the danger of consenting |
| | | | thereto is as wrong and sinful in the engaged |
| While there is no standard formula for the | | | | as for the un-engaged. In other words, there |
| ceremony itself, in most instances the | | | | are no sexual privileges for the engaged. |
| ceremony is conducted in the following manner | | | | |
| either in conjunction with a Mass or as a | | | | The informal engagement can occur almost |
| candlelight ceremony in the evening. | | | | anywhere. This is the one that has been |
| | | | described in romance literature time and time |
| Kneeling at the Communion rail, the couple | | | | again. The young man proposes to the girl in |
| join their right hands, and, before the | | | | the moonlight and she says "Yes." He then |
| priest and witnesses, promise to marry one | | | | places the ring on her finger and they are |
| day "according to the ordinances of God and | | | | engaged. They then proceed to announce the |
| Holy Church." | | | | fact to their relatives and friends. |
| | | | |